Words I Hate To See In Sentences

grammar_nazi_wip_by_denimzd-d37a5o0

I am not a Grammar Nazi. Even though the featured photo represents what I’m tell you I’m not. I am indictable (so guilty) for some of these word offenses in Facebook status’, tweets and there is a minute (very small) chance that one of these pervasive articles is mocking me from one of my posts. Don’t worry, I hate myself for using it. Sometimes I get lazy and don’t feel like thinking of a puffy word. Why not throw one of these expendable (really useless) words in front of an adjective with fewer syllables and make it casual to understand? Besides, if I start pitching sizable and appropriate words I might be considered to be stroking my own ego (super cocky).

Very

This word is the bane of my existence and I’m forced to see the word in daily, if not hourly, increments. The word adds nothing concrete to a sentence. For instance, the sentence, “The building is very large.” What’s the difference between large and very large? No one knows. The scale between the two could be immense or miniscule depending on the person. The scale could also be different between objects.

Here’s what you could do. If you’re trying to portray the immense size of something use a word with a better visual. Gargantuan. Vast. Elephantine.

Or give the object a concrete comparison. It was the size of a horse. Only use this if the object person is actually the size of a horse. You might have to get more specific with the horses breed for it to be accurate. It was the size of a Bhirum Pony in the August after its second year of life.

Incalculable

My qualms with this word are only with its use outside of the world of astronomy in its relation to the size of the ever expanding universe. The idea that something cannot be calculated at all is blasphemous to me. In my special world everything can be calculated like this. Is it bigger than my thumb? Yes. Congratulations, you have now calculated your object as larger than my thumb.

Really

I have a similar disdain with this word as I do with very. You’re really angry? Oh yeah? You mean, you’re infuriated? Oh okay, now I have a better grasp of how angry you are. Your anger is the size of a Bhirum Pony in the August after its second year of life? That’s great that your anger is approximately 56 inches high.

Unthinkable

How is anything unthinkable?! That’s Unfathomable!

Super

Super size it! No, let’s not do that because the word super doesn’t even make sense in that phrase. Pleasantly size it! Other great uses of the word. I’m super happy! I don’t need to point out my inevitable rant about its use in front of adjectives.

So

My boyfriend broke up with me so I beat my horse. There are many things that can be done with two sentences pushed together with the word so. You could easily go into detail about these two occurrences or even separate them (without using so at the beginning of the second sentence) to create a less matter of fact, forced statement.

My boyfriend broke up with me on a Sunday. This inevitably led to me beating my horse on Tuesday.

That’s probably a bad example. But it’s sooooo good.

Click Here

NEVER!

About these ads

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Categories: Literature

Author:Shawn Gamez

I do things with my fingers.

Stick With Us

Stay connected through our social profiles:

7 Comments on “Words I Hate To See In Sentences”

  1. Colin Holmes
    10.12.11 at 5:44 PM #

    The tone of this post is very cocksuckerish.

  2. Luke Stier
    10.12.11 at 6:53 PM #

    my love for you is incalculable

    • 10.12.11 at 7:04 PM #

      i hope you mean it’s bigger than my thumb.

  3. #BEARCOAT
    10.13.11 at 12:29 PM #

    It’s so very unthinkable, that like, it’s so really super incalculable, how much you want to click here: http://tinyurl.com/4x7rvtc .

  4. Matt Keefer
    10.13.11 at 3:37 PM #

    What about “pretty” when used as an adverb?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 7 Commandments of Concert Etiquette | List Off - 03.15.12

    […] hate that I even have to put this on the list. Alas, there has been an incalculable amount of times that I have been made dizzy by the foul stenches coming from some form of dirty […]

Join the Discussion

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: