7 Things I Enjoy That I Probably Shouldn’t


Last week, Jim posted quite a stirring piece on popular and well-respected films/albums/television programs he couldn’t care less about. He fully disclosed the reasonings for his indifferences, and I commend him and his well-groomed beard for being so bold and courageous. He really put himself and his integrity as a pop culture connoisseur on full blast. In addition to Jim’s star-studded list, he proposed the idea for the team of writers to follow in his semi-tainted footsteps by creating a similar list. You know, a post where any credibility you have gets thrown out the window, spat on, ran over, acid rained on, and dragged through a construction zone by a steamroller that drops you into a muck-filled sewer where species yet to be classified devour your edible, credible remains.

So, of course I’m going to do that! Though, my list, in a way, is the opposite of Jim’s. Instead of touching on acclaimed works, I’m going to highlight poorly respected ones, or at least works that would make you question my age and gender. And instead of not caring for them, I enjoy these things…and some of them, kind of deeply. But the outcome will be the same. That is to say, my closest kin and the blogosphere alike will shun me forever.

John Mayer

And there it goes. Any musical credibility I ever had is now ruined. I put John Mayer first on the list with the reader mind. If you are disgusted so much so that you want to ex out of this window, at least I didn’t take up too much of your time.

If you haven’t left yet, hear me out. The reason why I enjoy John Mayer as a popular figure is because he doesn’t talk like a Hollywood robot. His interviews are funny and insightful, and for the most part, he carefully articulates what he is trying to say. What fascinates me most about him, though, is despite being so stubbornly honest and often times brash, he somehow maintains enigmatic qualities. The reason why I enjoy him as a musician and will most definitely listen to his next release is because he put out an album called Continuum five years ago, and I’ve been waiting for a reincarnation of it ever since.


One Fine Day

Sometimes, I like little kids. Sometimes, I like New York City. Sometimes, I like George Clooney. Sometimes, I like Michelle Pfeiffer. Sometimes, I like predicable and formulaic romantic comedies that only depict a 12-hour day.  Sometimes, all of those components form into one film. And sometimes  ALL THE TIME, when One Fine Day is on TV, I’m watching.


Third Eye Blind

Calling Third Eye Blind one of my guilty pleasures would be selling them and myself short. I love this band and there’s not a single piece of me that’s bashful to say it. There are some acts you admire because of their mature content, complex sound, and overall intellectual message. And then, there are certain bands you love because they are youthful, exuberant, and have the ability to sustain those characteristics throughout their musical existence. And to me, that’s Third Eye Blind. Their first single, “Semi-Charmed Life,” was released 14 years ago. Since then, aside from a few band members, nothing has really changed. They’ve maintained their indie-pop vibe, still playing at colleges, festivals, and bars that fit a couple hundred people. And Stephan Jenkins is the 47-year-old frontman (yes, 47), still writing songs about sex, drugs, and San Francisco. And honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way.


Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files

I very well could be the only person in the country who watches this show, and that my viewership alone is the sole reason it was picked up for a second season. This Sci-Fi program consists of a team of really good looking actors experts, who develop theories and create replications of viral, paranormal footage to decide if the video is legitimate or a hoax. The premise is creative, but everything else could not be executed cornier. These “experts” meet in the “situation room” where they determine which cases to tackle, grab their briefcases and flashlights, and collectively storm out of the situation room’s door, as if the exit leads directly to the far away location they are traveling to. The experiments are interesting and typically require sophisticated technology and individual aptitude, but the onsite interviews with the “experts” are painfully staged, and their attempts to communicate with “spirits” are borderline comical. Despite all of that bashing, Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files might be my most DVR’d show. I can’t escape it.


The River Wild

This movie is just great cinema. Or is it? Film critics didn’t think so. But every time I watch 1994’s The River Wild I find myself defending it’s worth it by going over the cast: Meryl Streep, Kevin Bacon, David Strathairn, Bejamin Bratt, and even John C. Reilly! Give me that smorgasbord ensemble, mixed with wilderness suspense, a dog making a leap of faith, and a completely implausible plot, and I am all in.


Chris Brown

And you thought John Mayer was going to be the most insensitive entertainer on this list. It’s a shame, because if Chris Brown never had that colossal lapse in judgment, I firmly believe he would have been the most likeable, well-received pop artist. Instead, his mouth and that awful, public transgression will forever shadow his incredible talent.  And yet, I still really like him. Every time he’s on stage or in a music video I’m convinced he’s the best dancer in the industry.  All four of his albums have a great mix of slow jams and dance tracks I enjoy and play frequently, including his song “Forever,” which I think is one of the greatest pop songs of all-time. I’m not kidding.


American Idol

Most of the country watches the first couple weeks of American Idol. And then once the good singers move on to Hollywood, and the dreadful, yet hilarious contestants yell at the camera while leaving their terrible auditions or try their luck at landing absurd record deals, three-quarters of the nation doesn’t bother to see what happens next. And that used to be me, until I watched the next few weeks…and then the next couple months. Until I established a loyalty with certain contestants and pulled for them weekly. Until I’m doing spot-on impressions of Randy Jackson before he critiques. Until I’m dialing the American Idol phone number to vote for my favorite performance during “Motown Week.” Until I’m criticizing a 15-year-old girl for playing it safe during the climax of “Unchained Melody.” Until the finale ends and I realize I couldn’t care less about any of these uber-talented kids or this stupid singing competition turned popularity contest.

Well…until next season.

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9 Comments on “7 Things I Enjoy That I Probably Shouldn’t”

  1. Liz Connolly
    10.6.11 at 7:00 PM #

    I’m your closest kin, and I promise not to shun you. As long as you remain classier than John Mayer and Chris Brown. And as long as you run through the puddles at the Bethesda Fountain singing “Love’s Funny That Way” by Tina Arena every time you and the puddles are both there simultaneously.

  2. Colin Holmes
    10.6.11 at 7:42 PM #

    Is Third Eye Blind the band that did that Superman song? If so ewwww.

  3. 10.6.11 at 7:53 PM #

    God no. That was 3 Doors Down. Or maybe you are thinking of Five for Fighting. I can see where you got them confused, haha.

    • Colin Holmes
      10.7.11 at 11:01 AM #

      Okay cool. I was worried Dan. Also I never knew that George Clooney movie existed.

  4. 10.6.11 at 8:04 PM #

    AMERICAN IDOL! pretty much the most awesome show ever. and tell your g/f to get on that band wagon.

  5. Chelsea Crist
    10.6.11 at 8:20 PM #

    I LOVE AMERICAN IDOL! JUSTIN GUARINI 4 EVER!

  6. 10.6.11 at 8:48 PM #

    I can’t say that I’m surprised

  7. 10.6.11 at 11:02 PM #

    Fact or Faked? YES.

    Chris Brown? OH HELL NO.

  8. 10.20.11 at 12:44 AM #

    Third Eye Blind’s self titled is one of my all time favorite albums. Love that band. But…Chris Brown? American Idol? Who are you? It’s not like we’ve ever met but still….

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